Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.
It will not lead you astray.
This quote from Rumi has really been resonating with me lately. I'd like to share with you an experiment it has inspired
in me and, who knows, maybe it will inspire you too.
While it's certainly not unusual for us to have different and varied interests, at some point, we are asked to narrow our
vision. "What do you want to be when you grow up?" is supposed to have a singular answer. A doctor, a lawyer, or, as the saying goes, an Indian Chief. Personally, I've always felt at odds with this concept because I could never narrow my view to just one thing. At least, not for very long.
I have always been the kind of person who gets really into a thing for a while and then, eventually, that fire burned out until it was sparked by some other, seemingly random, thing. I remember being six years old and declaring I wanted to
be a cardiologist after reading a kid's book on the heart at the library. Next, I wanted to be a dancer, then an actress,
then a marine biologist, then an archaeologist, and as my world expanded, these shifts happened quicker and quicker.
I would get so frustrated and so angry at myself. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I just freaking stick to
something, anything? When was that "one thing" that would be all consuming find me? To this day, I occasionally
fantasize about how simple life would be if I just wanted to be a "_____". While going into the finer points of this
fascination of The One will need to be another blog, I think it's worth mentioning here. After all, for anyone who has
ever had trouble getting to a The One (whether in work, play, or relationships) knows, it can really do a number on your self-worth. And here is where this Rumi quote comes in.
In my quest to find The One Thing, even when I've allowed myself to be pulled, I've almost always had an agenda. If a
training or workshop interested me, I'd have to figure out why. I'd have to figure out how I could turn it into a way to
make money. "Otherwise," I'd tell myself, "it's just decadent and I can't afford (ie I don't deserve) decadence right now."
What Rumi inspires in me with this quote is trust and acceptance. It's ok to be exactly who I am. It's ok to be pulled,
maybe in many directions, because it all feeds my life and my soul. Looking back, I can see that this is true. For example,
I've become really interested in trauma and how yoga can be an incredible tool in healing trauma. So, I read books and
watch documentaries and was even fortunate enough to study with Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk at Kripalu Center a couple
of years ago. Has that turned into a full time career? No. Does that make all that study and knowledge worthless? Of
course not. In fact, it has completely shifted the way I teach even my weekly, public classes. And who knows, perhaps
sometime in the future, I'll work more with that population but either way, I have gained so much from following
what, to me, seemed like a very strange pull.
So here is my experiment. For the next month, I intend to follow those strange pulls without agenda or expectation. For
the next month, I am releasing the "logic" and the need to have a "why" or a gain in a worldly sense. All I am going to do
is notice how it feels to follow that strange pull. I'm going to notice how my life feels when I allow myself to be exactly
who I am and, just maybe, embrace myself as a "multipotentialite"* (see note).
If this resonates with you in any way, I invite you along for the ride. How can you give yourself permission to be YOU?
How can you allow yourself the freedom to follow what you love today, right now? I'd love to connect on this and hold
each other accountable so feel free to leave a comment, connect with me on Facebook or Instagram, or shoot me an
email. Let's support each other as we widen our vision and step a little more fully into the freedom of following our
Love you! Emma
*Note- This word is from one of my favorite TED talks called "Why some of us don't have one, true calling" by Emilie Wapnick. If, like me, you tend to dance from interest to interest, and, especially if you have been frustrated with that, it will probably turn in to one of your favorite talks too.